School
Apartment Hunting
Apartment Finding
School
New Projects At Work
Prep for Easter
School
Midterms
School...School
Geez it's been insane the past few weeks but they've been insane because God is doing some cool work right now. So most of the time when I post I sit down for a good few hours, do some serious Biblical study and analyzation, and put together something that highly researched. I'm finding my time for that is limited, but that doesn't mean I want to stop. I get so much life breathed into me when I sit down for 4 hours and dig into the Lord and what he is doing, but with my ministry and school I just don't have 4 hours everyday to go nuts with blogging. So look for me to continue at least once a week with more in-depth blogging, but interminably if there's a cool story to share from my life as a youth director I will! And that's exactly what I want to do today.
Today I want to share a story about how God's been working in my life and in my ministry to remind me that he's still here, he's still fighting for me, and he still wants good things for my life. But we're going to back up a few weeks to get to the start of this story.
Two weeks after Cameron's memorial I was starting to try and get back on track with my life and my responsibilities. There were so many things with the youth ministry I just couldn't sit on anymore, and I wanted to try and get by body back into a proper sleep/work schedule. I got up and went to my favorite coffee shop in San Marcos to try and get some work done in a place that was familiar and comforting. A few things happened during that time that seemingly were working to keep that from happening.
While it's a very good thing that people are checking up on me and I'm so thankful they are, talking about it obviously becomes reliving it. While that's healthy for working through the emotions, it doesn't mean it's any easier. So that morning at the coffee shop started with a phone call from my wonderful CYMT leadership to check in and check up on how life was going and some conversations we'd had a few days earlier. Usually when I have to rehash everything, I tend to lose all motivation, focus, and drive for whatever I was working on before; which I keep trying to have grace with myself that that's okay and won't last forever. I was so thankful for the loving words of leadership, but once I hung up I felt like the day was lost at that point, but I had so many things to do. The number one task of that day: find a new apartment in New Braunfels.
We've come up with some solutions to help me through the process of moving on with life, and one of the biggest things we've decided is to move me out of Canyon Lake into the closely neighboring New Braunfels. Canyon Lake is incredibly isolated, with an even smaller pool of people my age. Canyon Lake is also far from my CYMT cohorts and close friends from college, but New Braunfels isn't. With the help of my senior pastor, CYMT leadership, my parents and myself, we all agreed life would be must more full and bright if I wasn't so isolated and alone out at the lake. It's a little longer commute, but I'd gladly trade that for easy access to an HEB and my friends.
So on that Monday I hopped on the interwebs to start researching apartments within the price range of what the church was able to cover...and to my unfortunate surprise it was a looooooooot more expensive to live in New Braunfels. I started getting frustrated, and emotional as my search turned up very little in the price bracket and even fewer I knew my parents would be comfortable with me living in. I started spiraling into anxious, irrational conclusions about not being able to move because of this and getting stuck out in the middle of no where and hating my last two years of CYMT because of my situation.
In my downward spiral I started praying. It had been just about the worst month of my life and gosh God could you just throw me a freaking bone?? I asked God please, I don't care what it looks like, just remind me you are still in my corner. I begged God to show he was still fighting for me, still had a plan for good, still was going to make it worth staying in this place that I wanted to leave so badly.
One of my favorite parables is Jesus teaching on prayer. He tells the story of a friend who has an unexpected traveler coming in the middle of the night. As customary, he should have had a meal welcome for this traveler, but he was unprepared and had nothing. So he runs down the road to his friends house and beats on the door asking for a loaf of bread. At first the friend responses dude go way, I'm in bed with my family. But the man keeps knocking, shamelessly persistent in his request. And the friend gets up an doesn't just bring him a loaf of bread, he brings whatever the man needed. He doesn't just receive the single loaf of bread, he receives the whole dang feast. Jesus says at the end of the parable "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, everyone who seeks finds, and to everyone who knocks the door will be opened. "
I've prayed a lot for God to be present through this, to make sense of the senseless and purpose from the purposeless. I've been knocking on God's door for a lot since Cameron passed, and like Jesus says, the door's been opened in ways that are abundant beyond what I could have imaged.
So I cried out to God again, asked for him to move where I can feel, and I kid you not, not two minutes later I get the best, and most unexpected text message. A few months back, I had reached out to a friend who is on staff with Eagle Lake Camps, a camp I worked for while in college, and asked realistically what was the chance of them bringing their traveling day camp to my church. I got back a answer of it's realistic, but it sound more than likely not something we could pull off for this summer. I tabled the idea for the moment because I had so many more things on my plate in the foreseeable future with the intent of getting back in touch at the end of this camp season. I've always loved the idea of bringing this ministry I love so much to my context, not just because they were such a huge part of my life, but because what they do meets all the goals of what we are trying to do with Canyon Lake UMC right now. But Canyon Lake, Texas is very far from Colorado Springs, Colorado where they are based out of. So you can image my surprise when I got the text asking if I wanted to be a week 10 partner church.
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| My counselor summer with Eagle Lake Camps in 2015. Eagle Lake On Location takes camp to churches across 7 different states. This is my team before we left for our 10 weeks of camp in a different city ever week. Our summer road trip included churches across Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, and South Dakota. |
I thought he was kidding at first. I got way over excited and probably made no sense in my frantic response, but he reassured me he was serious. So after a few phone calls and dreaming about what the logistics might look like, it seemed like my Eagle Lake dreams were going to come true, and much sooner than I thought. I got off the phone after our second conversation and was struck by the fact that when I asked, the Lord showed up. I asked for a reason to show me that it was worth staying in Canyon Lake, that I still had a purpose there despite of the ocean of pain and sadness I faced there. It seemed as if this was the answer I so badly hopped for. There were still some lingering questions, but it looked good so far.
It has seemed that God has paved the way for this partnership between Canyon Lake UMC and Eagle Lake Camp to happen. Without going into long winded explanations on all the boring details we've found outlets for our biggest concerns: money, campers, and excitement and open hearts of the congregation. Each time I've felt we were about to hit a road block, every new anxiety or question about what this may look like, if it will work, and answer has been given. God has provided so much for this to happen even in it's very beginning stages.
Eagle Lake On Location will be making it's first trek to Texas for camp the week of August 7-11 this summer. There's still plenty of work to do, but both sides of the equation are so confident in were God is leading us in this endeavor. It's been amazing to watch ever wall crumble, and while I know there's plenty of time for more to spring up, I have faith that God will continue to pave the way.
I'm so excited to share more about this process and what it means for my life and the ministry I serve. I'm so sure that God has shown up when I've asked. I have a renewed sense of purpose and drive for staying where I am and where I'll be for at least the next two years. Eagle Lake has become my healthy distraction, my outlet for time and effort as well as just something fun to look forward to. I knew God would bring something, I knew he'd give me the loaf of bread I was asking for, but even with what I know of scripture I still struggled with knowing he'd bring the whole feast. I'm sure there are more ways this is a bigger blessing than I can image from here, but from what I can see he's bringing the whole dang feast.
When we ask, God shows up. It may not always look like what we expected, but it's always better. It may not be on our timeline, but it will always be on his better one. I keep going back to Romans 8:28 because it is so true: he WILL make everything work together for the good of those who love God and are call according to God's purpose. I praise God for where he's already made things work together for my good. I thank him for the reminder that he's still in my corner, he's still fighting for me. I praise God that it's all working together for his glory and my good.
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| My goofy, beloved, Eagle Lake Family |
{A little P.S. for you, I've started a Go Fund Me page so help out in my continued work and service in ministry. I thank everyone for the prayers and continued support as I walk in the path God has for me. For more ways on how to support my life in ministry find the link under my profile to the right! Thank you!}
